Irish

We need everybody, from everywhere, all the voices of everywhere.

Australians really, are all came from Irish prisoners. And that because English people sent them here a long long time ago. Cause English are very good at things like founding colonies. It must because of the voice, that English voice.

But Australians are really came from Irish prisons. And that was because English sent them here a long, long time ago. And the English are very good at that, you know, founding colonies and so on. A lot of it just because of the voice, the English voice. You never see Irish people starting a colony and so on. Cause they wouldn't turn up on time. English would say 'We'll go over there. It’s got loads of stuff. Are you coming on boat tomorrow?' The Irish guy will say, 'Well, yeah, OK. I'll just go and meet my brother for a quick drink, and pick up some knitting things... I will be there, surely....' You know they will never fucking show up.

Don't they always say that Irish people have the reputation of being charming. Of course, they do, believe it or not. But do you know all that is about? It’s because they never give you the truth. If you say to an Irish 'Where is the chair I asked you to make me?' They'll go “Emm... My brother, he had a fine singing voice, but he fell down a hole once. Have you met my sister? Here, have a sausage." They just simply don't answer your question.

Irish people have this reputation for being charming. Indeed, they do, believe it or not. Do you know what's all that about? It’s because they lie all the time. If you ask an Irish guy "Where is the chair I asked you to make me?" He's just go “Oh… My brother, he has a fine singing voice, but he fall down a hole once. Have you meet my sister? Here, have a sausage." They basically just don't answer your question.

The Irish long ago been dismissed as fearful, drunken, un-punctual, unreliable, and very charming, yah? charming in a sense of being capable of running a cheap van. Cause Ireland got messed up, you know. They're not very cool headed people like English. Ireland got messed up, fucked, really, by money. Cause people couldn’t cope with it. They never had money, people made soup and salad, and risottos out of stones for hundreds of years. Imagine you doing that for hundreds of years, then one day the menu changed, so you go “Stones, stones, stones, Cocaine! That's what you’re having." So, people get lost, they're on street going, “I'll buy you jacket if you buy my trousers..." now they have nothing.

In this incredible age of change a lot of focuses is actually here, in this great city Sydney. You see it in a sort of close-up may not make out it as the power hub, not just for New South Wales, but the whole country, and indeed the whole Oceanic region, this is the most powerful place in southern hemisphere. So, you, people here, are the decision makers. And you know that, and you pretty much made up your mind about the rest of the world. You know what you should think about the Asia, and Europe, and America, the Northern hemisphere, you think they're all hilarious, why would anybody live there?

Sydney always supply tourists experience with different accents. You don't need to travel to hear different voices. I found rather amazing about accent, particularly it's very easy to recognise your own kind, you could hear them from miles away.

That's not prejudice,  that's just observation. The thing is some people are very bigoted I think. Cause I have lots of local friends who're very dear to me. And I realise this recently that when I talking to them, they do a lovely thing to me, they impersonate me as they're conversing with me.

The things is though, Irish people are just far more emotional. They've included emotion in their culture. If you talk to an English person, you wouldn't know if he recently died a family or just got married. It's because of that English smile they carrying around all the time. "Hello, hello..." looks like there's Rockin-Oyster under their tongue, going, "Hello, Good morning, Don't touch me, Stay away. Don't get fucking too close, leave me alone. And Hi, Hello!" And it's either that or when they do become emotional, the emotion come out violently. They come in play football with you and they rip the shit out of stadium and they literally eat the fucking chairs.