man

Everything is misrepresented on screen, women particularly. That's where lot of young men been taught about the concept of Hot babes, and eventually they all end up sat around going...

Look, I’m not a hero, but I sort of imagine as one just like most people. I'd think of myself as a reasonably, well, if not brave, but sanguine or cool about most things. But when Matt Damon was walking around in his striking people for his identity, I said to myself, "Yeah, I can’t do any of that sort of shit, but I can’t remember the last time I was really afraid of." Then my partner said, “Well, I can, I can remember.”

Married people will work things out, like how they gonna do it as a couple. What happens to most couple is end up dividing things. You know, you’re good at this, she's good at other things.

One of the few things particularly easier for women, well, if you happened to be a woman, is flirting. Because it’s hard for a man, there’s no guide or instruction. But for a woman, at least there's examples, template, you can always find something in films and so on.

People's life are misrepresented, especially men are misrepresented to women. You know, men have always been built up as heroes in films and so on. My favourite bit of those action films is when that ordinary guy, who turns out to be a hero, and he turned around to his own family and goes “Everybody just shut up! Stop arguing! Do what I’m saying. Trust me for a minute.” That’s when my family all burst out laughing, and pointing at me going “Ha~ha~ha~. imaging how quickly we would be dead! Imaging all the different ways we'd be dying.”

Women are misrepresented in a lots of ways. Especially, young man are full of nonsense about women nowadays, because all the medias, particularly the pornography, which is part of the reality now. I didn’t know about pornography when I was growing up, it didn’t exist in my world. Somebody had a picture of a woman's ass, it was a huge deal. People will start arrange affairs, putting up power surge, the infrastructure. Now, you wake up in morning and go, "Take the annal wallpaper away! I just want some Weet-bix please."

I am a man! either that or a woman who's really let herself go. Look It's not easy be a man, for example, I had to get dressed today, and there’s loads other pressures. Man get very hard-time from female media, like these woman's magazines, they always doing these surveys, in between the ads of alligator bag, purse, Chanel, Louis Vuitton... they put these fucking surveys, "What you want for a man?" And all women inevitably come up with similar kind of thing, like "Oh, I don't know, oh just some kind of physical, psychical, intellectual melding really, where you can get that oceanic feeling after 18 years of children bearing and continual exploration of existing sexual relationship is still possible. That’d be OK."

I keep remember back then when homosexuality was an issue, and it is still to a degree. Because the Angelica recently church said, "Oh, yes, you can have gay bishops, but they have to be celebrated." Which kind of defies the point of having a gay bishop, doesn't it? What's the point of being a gay bishop unless you can say "Nice to be here, this is my friend, Jeff."

Look, there’s something going on, right now, in the world, yeah! I think that guys are changing. You'll find loads of them here in Sydney, and in fact loads of them all around the world. You know when I look at these guys, the idea just constantly in my mind that they don't want grow up. Cause they're wearing children's clothes. Loads of these guys, they’re in their 30s and 40s, shuffling around, in T-shirts, zippers, or hoods or whatever on them. And they've got these ambiguous length of trousers. They’re not shorts; they’re not trousers neither; they’re just these things as if making a statement that says "I don't want any executive position anytime soon, OK? I’m having a milk shake for the next fucking 10 years. So stay the fuck away from me!”

The gender argument do seems to be quite unfair in woman's favour. Because I think men and women's arguments are made in different places. All male arguments are very early 70s, Soviet-made, uni-directional trundling behemoths, that say the same thing again and again and again: "I told you I would be late on Tuesday, I told you I would be late, I said it, I heard my own voice, I did say it... I told yoouuuu~" Whereas woman's argument seem to be these amazing, slinky, stealth bombers designed by Jaguar, with lovely cream leather interior and infinite torque! That's why they can respond man by saying "Yes, maybe, alright, but why is the fridge door's open?" and man just going "I don't understand, I don't understand the world any more..."

The images of people is in movies nowadays is so categorised.

I think man can get very envious of woman, specially the sensitivity that woman have. You know, if a woman, girlfriend, wife, or female friend of yours says, "I'm just gonna go and see so on and so in the café, I'll be back in a bit." And when they come back and you say, "Well, so how was so and so?" She goes, "Oh. She's not so good, not so good, early sign of diabetes, and she's having an affair, which is you know, complex, and there's a very very good chance she's gonna loose her job as well." And you go, "Wow, that's incredible, you found all that out in 15 minutes, she told you all this?" "Oh, no no, She didn't say anything, but she didn't finish her tea."

Don't get feminist on me. Look, I'm not feminist, cause I'm a man, I'm not qualified. I cannot be a feminist just like most women. If women were serious about feminism, they can have everything feminist talk about getting. Equal Pay, yeah, you can have that tomorrow, if women will give up bitching about one another for 5 minutes, which just seems to be impossible. Not for four, not for three, not for two, not for one.

Gender-stereotype is this idea, that women are hugely, uncontrollably emotional, and men are not. Everyone knows about PMS, right. Now the myth is that, it's so odd that only women who experience this. And man embraces this whole idea going, "Oh, you're so irrational, you're so crazy, you're women, you just so unpredictable and wild. I have to cope with you, like you're some sort of crazy child, never know what's gonna happen around you. And I'm just so dependable and stable, I'm like a library, I never change. I'm like an old tree... it's just me... Oh... dealing with you... Oh... my goodness... I’m so much in pain..."

Have you ever read Frankenstein? The book by Mary Shelley, a woman. My after thought of the story might sound a bit generalisation, but does felt that all women, past, present, and future, are Mary Shelly, and all men are the Creature.

I am speaking as a man, but, I mean, I am a man, or maybe... either that or a woman who's really let herself go. Look, it's not easy be a man, man have a lots of health checks and worries just as well as woman. For example, you have to look out for testicular cancer, well, there is nothing funny about that, cause you have to look for a lump in a bag of lumps, that obviously can take sometime.

I suppose the notion of respect from younger generation does sound such an old-fashioned way, even just to say it. But as you've been on this planet long enough, you do imagine you'll get respect from younger people, even from your own children, you imagine you'll get respect from them... but the plain truth is, you don't.

If you have friends, who don't have kids. They can sound very naive. You know, friend who's single and without children, they usually ask stupid questions, like "What did you do in the weekend?" And when you're just trying to distinguish one moment from that jumbo blend of screams, stains, and tears, that made up your whole weekend, they start to tell you what they did, which is really, all they've ever wanted to talk about in the first place.

In the context of the world, watching all that's happening around you, I don't think you can penetrate much of it, cause you can only really care about very few things. In the end, what's really gonna matter to you is who you're with and what's happening between you. Basically, you'll only care about whatever that's going on in your own kitchen. If couple has got friend who's single and childless, they often and be amazed to find how much gap they have. Because single men are naive in the eyes of couples of if they don't have children. Look, if you're women, you don't need children to be empathetic, but if you're man, you do.

Life is just plainly harder to be a woman. Cause biologically speaking, just in terms of changes and drama, right. If you born a woman, from an infant you turn to a baby, you grow up then you're little girl. You become a girl, then you're a girl-woman, then you're a woman-girl, got hips, breasts, menstruation, few years later, you have sex, you may have child, then you look after this child. Oh, that is very complex biological relationship, mentally, psychologically, all aspects. And then you carry on maturing... A woman looking after whole family, you get older, you reach this point in life there's another big change then everything goes quite. And then you're old.

Look it is very difficult thing to be a man, cause you have to touch yourself to exam yourself free of things like testicular cancer and so on. And unfortunately, as a man you're designed to be aroused by the most naturally occurring phenomena on this planet. Like, you know, a big bag of chips or a bit of melting ice-cream, that can get you up and going. So…actually to touch yourself can be very dangerous, you may get 38 erections and directly passed out on a street.

Men are afraid of women. Everybody knows this. Cause all the gender stereotype that goes on, everything that you're supposed to be. Young men get very confusing message thrown at them. The model hold up to them is this sort of action hero. You know, "Bish... cosh... bo..." James Bond figure or any of those current actors in action films. They'll running around, jumping, kicking, striking, unsurprisingly, do all those extremely aggressive things... And women see that, some women, they look at them and they go, "Oh, that violent is disgusting. Fuck me..." And that makes up the contradictory puzzling message that's impossible to explain for man. And that is why men have always been afraid of women.

Men sometimes do get frightened by woman's ability of swinging mood from one extreme to another in a matter of seconds, like going "You always fucking leave the towel on floor, you piece of shit!" to "Oh yeah, that champagne's all right." That does easily throw a man out of his continence.

Most men don't have memories, even they do, they'll only experience occasional violent déjà vu. A man would grip his girlfriend, or wife, or partner, or whoever is there, and say,

Most of the time, man gets very upset if they feel they didn't perform well, cause men are very sexually competitive and everything. You know, they always tend to ask very stupid questions after making love, they say, "Did you, did you? You know, did you arrive?" And women know that men are vulnerable at this time, that's why they say "What... What are you referring there?" And man don't like to be hurt, so they go back to themselves, they go "Oh, I don't know... It wasn't me talking. Who are you?" And then woman suddenly understands, they go "Oh, the sex, you mean, just now? OK, yeah, that was... you know, it's quite nice." Quite nice. Nobody actually know what that means. But all man were quite nicely accepting it at that moment, then afterwards, they get very upset, "Quite nice? Quite, quite nice. Hahah... You said our bathroom tap is quite nice. Am I a fucking tap. I've just got into a potentially fatal position. Oh, my whole body was in an anti-gravity position? I've lost 18 pounds in perspiration, and now my penis has shrink to the size of a button mushroom, it's hanging by a thread! Now just answer me one fucking word, did you or didn't you achieve one of those... woman things?" And woman would go "Wo~ lalala~ lalala~ sorry, are you talk to me? Oh, I'm not really sure sometimes, I don't really know. lalala~~" "What! Are we doing it again?! Where are those sandwiches. Don't touch me, I am trying to redirect the blood."

Nostalgic times. You know back then when a man would receive a phone call in a pub, on a land line. And it would be for him. Man died in pubs, sometimes on the phone, frequently with a large ham under their arm. This is the time when a man would get chance express a strong opinion on the subject he knew nothing about it as the point of honour. And to emphases his position, he's would take off his hat, so you would see his comb over, which is nothing to be ashamed of.

Of course women have extraordinary memories, that is what equips them to ask questions that cannot be answered by men, not by mortal men. My partner says to me, "Why! Why did you leave the towel on the bathroom floor? The wet towel" There is no answer. Unless I can come up with something like, "Well, me and guys in the basement, we’ve planed for weeks how to fuck you up. And we thought this seems the only way to go."

So the young man and young women realise eventually that you don't die young. It’s a huge lie. And of course young man knows he’s not dead, cause he's with a young woman now. And they rented a flat, and she’s talking about curtains. And that is the time he really really wants to be dead. Cause the young woman has been talking about curtains for more than half an hour. And looks like she means to go on. She said, "What do you think? Should we get that purple ones with really subtle blend to the pink tonality towards the end; Or should we get that one looks like a tree, but feels it's at night when you're passing by in a car. Which one do you think we should get? What you really feel, I can't make the decision by myself. What you really truly feel?" And what you really truly feel is that "I can not begin to describe how much I DON’T CARE! I didn't know we had windows, until you brought all the shit up, OK. Stop saying wallpapers, furnitures, floors, it's Bourgeoisie. Just eat the chicken from my hat, come on!"

So there's lots of pressure. Lot of pressure on the young man to say something snappy, seductive, and charming to a young woman in the dance hall, or disco, or whatever they called these days. You know those places, where you walk in, the music can bleed your ear in just about three seconds.

Speaking of memory, women have memories. Short, Medium, Long, they've got it all. A woman can remember something you've said 17 years ago and even the way how you said it. And to aid that memory, every woman would have a hot boxes, full of precious things, "Curly wholly wrapped the man so much; A bundle of letters too painful to look at or thrown away, they have to be kept so they can never be looked at; A nine speed dual shaft triple action... No, that's a different time, a different time!" Women remember. This is why we have civilisation. A women looks at a man and says, "You tried that yesterday, didn't work, then either!" Every women is an individual walking time capsule.

That's only if you sleep. Who can sleep? Who sleeps? Really. If you're a proper grownup in the 21st century and you're an adults human being, how can you relax at all! Your mind keeps churning. You think "What if this thing happens?!" "Em...hen.." "What if that thing happens?" "What if they happen together?!" "What if I lose my job?! I hate my fucking job but what if I lose it?!" Your mind is like a hive of worms. And worms don't live in a hives, so, it's already felt unnatural.

The fact is that young man, especially, all men, don't even see children. For them, they're just other beings that need instant gratification, their competition really, as far as they concern.

The fact is that your youth vanishes on you. It surprises people all the time. That's why people say it seems like yesterday. It doe seems like yesterday to me, as I was out drinking tequila with my friends. I mean tequila! That's not even a drink, it's just a way to get police around without using a phone. Now, I'm on the phone to the same friend and asking them for recipes, going "How do you make breadcrumbs," but back of my head going, "Jesus! What's happening to me? Please don't let me die at a Bunnings Warehouse. Don't turn me into one of those grumpy codgers begins every single fucking conversation with the words "I'm not a racist but..."

The question that everybody asks now and the question that everybody has always asked about each other, and you can still hear all the time, is "What do women want?" Well, as always it has been really mysterious, as it always sounds like such a big deal. I'm here to tell you that woman want is what anybody wants. You know, friendship, companionship, respect, and certain amount of leadership with submission, the kind of cooperation at all times, and pre-emptive empathy, plus some general telepathy, yah? That's not a big deal, is it?

The things about desire for love and be loved sometimes been regarded as trivial stuff in today's busy life. But that is the singular thing you're constantly been drawn towards to and constantly trying to get away from, the trap to escape from. That's possibly the fundamental reason why pornography is such a huge industry. Because for a lot of men, sex is just too important to involve another person.

When you approach middle aged man, you'll become a kind of soft, comfortable guy with fears. By some definition not even a man anymore, you know, in the ways that medias and films defined for us. So what will happen is that you get yourself addicted to violent movies, like Matt Damon, Jason Stathan and so on, cause you've got find a way to outsource your masculinity.

When you mature you lose so much of that natural human panache children have. If you ask a child go to bed and put that against whatever they want to do and emphasise it, they'll say, "I hate you! I really hate you!!" as they scratching their asses with toy elephant. Now, if you could retain that sense of self in your adult life, you got totally different experience. Right, at work, telling your boss, "I hate you!" while scratching your ass with a coffee cup, "I really do, everyday is the same fucking shit, I don't know why I keep coming back!" It's just difficult to keep hold of though.

With feminism going on today people often forget how easy it is to feel quite vain as a man. Sometimes you see yourself in a shower or after a bath, look at the mirror you think, "Oh, my god, look at that! What the fuck is that? I used to be man-shaped. Now I am just a random bag of tits!" Then you go to the person you live with and says "What you doing with me? Why are you with me? You're such a beautiful feminine person, what are you doing with somebody like me? Is this a fucking experiment or what?"

Woman remembers. We have a thing called history, that's because we have women, they remember everything with all kinds of memories, short, medium, long, they've got it all. A woman can remember something you've said 17 years ago! And the thing that's just happened which normally oblivouse to you. A woman would say, 'You've tried that yesterday, didn't work, then either!'

Women are much more supportive to one another around children. If a woman gets pregnant, other women pitch in, and they sort of talk about it, in a far more useful way in a sense.