religion

As I sometimes unstoppably eating, I started deluding myself as well. Cause you can tell yourself it’s the culture. It’s just part of the cultural things. You can pretend it’s culturally sophisticated by having a lot of cheese and wine and asking where are they call come from. Yah! That's what I do, get a big pile of stinky cheese there going, “Oh, where is this cheese from?” Who cares where the fuck it’s from. It’s on the fucking table in front of you now! People are dying, ice-caps are melting, just eat the shit before we kills us all, will you? “No! I have to know where it's all come from... What? the Tasmania Cave Cows, Oh, I love them, they’re so musical. Thank you so much indeed. Yam..”

Now religion is not really around that much anymore. Most of people are very pleased that religion doesn’t exist for them, especially, secular people. They are delighted, and thrilled to themselves, about their material view of everything - congratulating themselves in a queue outside the Apple Store that lights up George street the way that churches used to do. Filing in there feeling ashamed as they shuffling in, because they are still having the old phone, and they are there to be taught how they could be liberated by genius priests in black with their piercings, pony tails to explain how the new pocket altar will release them from their earthly burden.

Nowadays people don’t have proper religion anymore. well, not proper religion in this country anyway. I mean Christianity doesn’t really exist in a big way here, the current generation never really had it to be honest. People in Ireland used to have it, the real religion not the one people have here mainly just some dressing up boxes and some cardigans with holes at elbows, everybody meet up have some ginger-nuts, sing a few hums and then go home have a nice wank. Ireland had the real religion, the thing that makes you feel bad the moment you awake, with God squatting at end of your bed with his fist pressed in between your eyes, going “Wake up, you worthless shit bag!” That’s how it felt in real religion.

French are really good at pleasure. I remember walking around Paris seen a bakery, a boulangerie, you know, which is great fun, even just go in and see these sexy eatables. So, I went in, a childish desire urged me to get a cake. So I end up with a paper bag full of those chocolate coated éclairs. And then on street, I was get bumped into by a friend who's very talkative for some reason, as I was just about get bored of his stories, I took a bite of the éclair. Oh my god, it was sensational almost like an orgasm. And I have to tell the guy to shut-up and go away. And I look at this éclair, this cake, I figure I could book a room with it and go “Where you from, What kind of music you into, Come on!" That is the proper serious pleasure.

I don't mind religious people, when they hanging around, I talk to them, listen to them banging on, praying very hard, and then the fairy came. "Have you been good? Have a biscuit!" I only get annoyed when they try to make me see the fairy, they say, "Look, you have to let the fairy into your heart." I thought, I wouldn't event let them in my backyard, OK! I'll shoot them on site, if they existed, which they don't. So just please have a biscuit and go away. Will you, Please."

I do, sometimes want to be like you, cool, calm, unemotional... protestant for short. It's a fantastic religion, makes absolutely no demands upon you at all, which is the reason why it's not a great religion. Cause all great religions are built on shame, there's none of that in protestantism. All you've got to do is go to the church, sing a few hymns, have a cup of tea, eat some biscuits, then everybody go home have a nice wank.

It is absolutely true that people need to believing things. It'd be a scary thing if you start to believe politicians. You can't trust them. But people say “Well, but we still need to believe something!" Of course, you do, but you're not allowed to believe religion. Well, practically you can, but people will laugh at you and throw things. Cause it has been sort of decided in last century that the religion is basically a formalised panic about death. That's all. I mean look at the Catholic churches, all these campuses organisations on this planet, with their purple robs, gold bases on the side, the gems are so big on their hat if let it fall, it’ll kill people. I mean, what else can it be? All this sort of ritual panic about death. "Death is coming! Quick, but on the Golden hat!"

The eastern religions that people are now discovering more and more inspirations from, like Zen and Dalai Lama and so on, which I've always found kind of hard to penetrate the meaning of it. Cause their stories tend to be very dense, parables are fairly gnomic. You know they say, there's two monks walking over a bridge and one of them sees loads cherry blooms falling all around them, and one of them says, "You know, I'm very thirsty." and the other one says "Yes, but I'm quite tall..." When heard stories like that all I can think of is, did I miss something?

You will notice though, the kind of people who turned to Jesus, tend to be the sort of people who haven't done that well with everybody else, like some of the people who are here for instance. Cause they say to themselves, "Well, I can't get it right in this lifetime, but in the next life, it will be all right, the spiritual after-life." Which makes no sense to me at all, really.