Scotland

Scottishness alway reminds me amazing things from Scotland, it goes on, and on, and on. The list of things you depend upon every day life that you don’t even aware of, like, Televisions, Monkeys, Steaming Engines, Papaya, Lightening, Kung-fu, Pubic hair, Oh, it's endless.

I don't know, you come in, people come in here wanting stuff, I don't know what you want, I don't know what everyone want, I don't even have any idea what I want in fact. Cake! Yay, I think cake is what I want. Cause cake is the language of love, I haven't see any in this room. You know when people say "I love you. I love you!" which will get rather tedious and repetitive and you think, "Right, so where's the proof? How about make me a fucking cake? A chocolate Éclair!" Truth is, people don't need to eat anymore cakes in English speaking countries generally, even the poor. We're all over fed. Eating is purely regards as sort of recreational things now. So why fucking around with soup, or chicken, or any other stuff. Just... cake!

I remember once I was in Glasgow at this bottle shop buying some peanuts, just try to blend in with local Scottish woman and children. And there was this young man in front of me very friendly with a whole case of Vodka bounced on his stomach. And he turned around to me and he said “Ahginu#$@hagiahenh#$%". I didn't quite understand what was the offer, but that doesn't stop you joining in the conversation. You just put up your very best middle-class smile, you know, you go “Ha~ha~ha~ha~ha~". He could be asking me anything! I don't know!! It felt kind of abusive smile already. Cause smile is important should be useful, especially when you're really mean something. I think what I really meant was more of "Ha~Ha~Ha~ Please don't kill me, I', just offering trained smile".

lots of Scottish people here in this country. You know the voice, you've heard the sound, very easy to understand. Before I moved to Australia, the last place I was in is Glasgow. I was at an off-license buying some cigarettes, you know, just the appropriate way to blend in with the local women and children. And there was a young man in front of me very friendly with a whole case of scotch bounced on his stomach. And he turned around to me and he went “Ahginu#$@hagiahenh#$%". Well, I didn't quite know what was the offer. But that doesn’t stop you joining in the conversation, yeah? You just take out your very best mid-class smile, you go “Ha~ha~ha~ha~ha".

People laugh at Scotland, it's full of drunken, violent, bestial people, who're all mean and cold to touch.