staring

I was in the pub the other day, this young vital person came out, and I found myself cannot stop looking at her. I was thinking "Oh, you are so lovely, you are a really lovely looking human being, never seen a homo sapien like you." Suddenly I realised don't stare, it's rude! So I looked away, but a second later, I couldn't help but looked back. And as I did, her boyfriend walked, who happens to be very very tall, dark, extraordinarily handsome, an amazing looking man, wonderful range of his stride, chiselled features with sea-green eyes in a thousand-yards-stare. What an extraordinary person! I couldn't take my eyes off him... and completely forgotten about her. And then I became aware again, “Oh, Christ, don't stare, it's rude. They'll think you're staring because they’re mix-raced couple or something. Don't... don't..."

The other day I see this skinhead, made me extremely nervous. You don't see them any more, proper ones, old-school skinheads, like Hatch-backs. Where did all those people go, is there an island or somewhere. But I'm talking about the real one, the kind people who make all their major decisions with their neck, having tattoos on his teeth. Make me think, "Jesus Christ, he's gonna hit me just for being alive!" I can't look at but I can't look anywhere else on the street. I hate this kind of situation, it's awful.

So the young man and young women realise eventually that you don't die young. It’s a huge lie. And of course young man knows he’s not dead, cause he's with a young woman now. And they rented a flat, and she’s talking about curtains. And that is the time he really really wants to be dead. Cause the young woman has been talking about curtains for more than half an hour. And looks like she means to go on. She said, "What do you think? Should we get that purple ones with really subtle blend to the pink tonality towards the end; Or should we get that one looks like a tree, but feels it's at night when you're passing by in a car. Which one do you think we should get? What you really feel, I can't make the decision by myself. What you really truly feel?" And what you really truly feel is that "I can not begin to describe how much I DON’T CARE! I didn't know we had windows, until you brought all the shit up, OK. Stop saying wallpapers, furnitures, floors, it's Bourgeoisie. Just eat the chicken from my hat, come on!"

Without doubt, love is very deceptive thing, because there are all sorts of different types of love. You might falling in love with somebody just because they’re beautiful. But even that could have so many different varieties. Cause somebody could be just kind of make you want to applaud as they walking pass by, you think "Oh, Well done, you're a very good looking human being, good job, keep it up, here, have a budge, you deserve it." And then there’s another type of love emotions by lust and desire, you know, when you see somebody and you just want take off your cloths, but you're immobilised with painful desire, so you have to ring a pal to come around to help with your trousers. And then there's a very weird kind of love, when you see somebody who's exclusively beautiful that all you want to do all day is sitting there generating saliva while staring at her... But that doesn't happen to me that seldom.