The Taming of the Shrew

A vengeance on your crafty withered hide! Yet I have fac’d it with a card of ten.

And I am one that love Bianca more Than words can witness, or your thoughts can guess.

And I have thrust myself into this maze, Happily to wive and thrive as best I may. Crowns in my purse I have, and goods at home, And so am come abroad to see the world.

And all things answerable to this portion. Myself am strook in years, I must confess, And if I die tomorrow, this is hers, If whilst I live she will be only mine.

And do you tell me of a woman’s tongue, That gives not half so great a blow to hear As will a chestnut in a farmer’s fire? Tush, tush, fear boys with bugs.

And for thy maintenance; commits his body To painful labor, both by sea and land; To watch the night in storms, the day in cold, Whilst thou li’st warm at home, secure and safe;

And if you break the ice, and do this feat, Achieve the elder, set the younger free For our access—whose hap shall be to have her Will not so graceless be to be ingrate.

And place your hands below your husband’s foot; In token of which duty, if he please, My hand is ready, may it do him ease.

And when she is froward, peevish, sullen, sour, And not obedient to his honest will, What is she but a foul contending rebel, And graceless traitor to her loving lord?

At last, though long, our jarring notes agree, And time it is, when raging war is done, To smile at scapes and perils overblown.

Ay, by gogs-wouns, quoth he, and swore so loud, That all amaz’d the priest let fall the book, And as he stoop’d again to take it up, This mad-brain’d bridegroom took him such a cuff That down fell priest and book, and book and priest.

Ay, mistress, and Petruchio is the master, That teacheth tricks eleven and twenty long, To tame a shrew and charm her chattering tongue.

Balm his foul head in warm distilled waters, And burn sweet wood to make the lodging sweet. Procure me music ready when he wakes, To make a dulcet and a heavenly sound;

Born in Verona, old Antonio’s son. My father dead, my fortune lives for me, And I do hope good days and long to see.

But if it were, doubt not her care should be To comb your noddle with a three-legg’d stool, And paint your face, and use you like a fool.

But, wrangling pedant, this is The patroness of heavenly harmony.

Call you me daughter? Now I promise you You have show’d a tender fatherly regard, To wish me wed to one half lunatic, A madcap ruffian and a swearing Jack, That thinks with oaths to face the matter out.

Dost thou love hawking? Thou hast hawks will soar Above the morning lark. Or wilt thou hunt? Thy hounds shall make the welkin answer them And fetch shrill echoes from the hollow earth.

Fear not, my lord, we can contain ourselves, Were he the veriest antic in the world.

Fie, fie on all tir’d jades, on all mad masters, and all foul ways! Was ever man so beaten? Was ever man so ray’d? Was ever man so weary

Fie, fie, unknit that threat’ning unkind brow, And dart not scornful glances from those eyes, To wound thy lord, thy king, thy governor.

For your physicians have expressly charg’d, In peril to incur your former malady, That I should yet absent me from your bed. I hope this reason stands for my excuse.

Gentlemen, importune me no farther, For how I firmly am resolv’d you know: That is, not to bestow my youngest daughter Before I have a husband for the elder.

Go to the feast, revel and domineer, Carouse full measure to her maidenhead, Be mad and merry, or go hang yourselves;

Go, girl, I cannot blame thee now to weep, For such an injury would vex a very saint, Much more a shrew of thy impatient humor

Hap what hap may, I’ll roundly go about her; It shall go hard if Cambio go without her.

Happily met, the happier for thy son. And now by law, as well as reverend age, I may entitle thee my loving father.

Happy the parents of so fair a child! Happier the man whom favorable stars Allots thee for his lovely bedfellow!

I am a gentleman of Verona, sir, That hearing of her beauty and her wit, Her affability and bashful modesty, Her wondrous qualities and mild behavior, Am bold to show myself a forward guest Within your house, to make mine eye the witness Of that report which I so oft have heard

I am as peremptory as she proud-minded; And where two raging fires meet together, They do consume the thing that feeds their fury.

I am content you shall entreat me stay, But yet not stay, entreat me how you can.

I am glad he’s come, howsoe’er he comes.

I have forgot your name; but sure that part Was aptly fitted and naturally perform’d.

I here bestow a simple instrument, And this small packet of Greek and Latin books. If you accept them, then their worth is great. BAP

I never saw a better fashion’d gown, More quaint, more pleasing, nor more commendable. Belike you mean to make a puppet of me.

I never yet beheld that special face Which I could fancy more than any other

I prithee go, and get me some repast; I care not what, so it be wholesome food

I will not go today, and ere I do, It shall be what a’ clock I say it is.

If thou accountedst it shame, lay it on me, And therefore frolic, we will hence forthwith,

Is not this well? Come, my sweet Kate: Better once than never, for never too late.

Is supper ready, the house trimm’d, rushes strew’d, cobwebs swept, the servingmen in their new fustian, their white stockings, and every officer his wedding garment on? Be the Jacks fair within, the Gills fair without, the carpets laid, and every thing in order?

Kindness in women, not their beauteous looks, Shall win my love, and so I take my leave, In resolution as I swore before.

Lord, let me never have a cause to sigh, Till I be brought to such a silly pass!

Mark’d you not how her sister Began to scold, and raise up such a storm That mortal ears might hardly endure the din?

Mistake me not, I speak but as I find.

Music and poesy use to quicken you, The mathematics, and the metaphysics, Fall to them as you find your stomach serves you: No profit grows where is no pleasure ta’en. In brief, sir, study what you most affect.

My banquet is to close our stomachs up After our great good cheer. Pray you sit down, For now we sit to chat as well as eat.

My cake is dough, but I’ll in among the rest, Out of hope of all but my share of the feast. Exit

My father is here look’d for every day, To pass assurance of a dow’r in marriage ’Twixt me and one Baptista’s daughter here. In all these circumstances I’ll instruct you; Go with me to clothe you as becomes you.

My tongue will tell the anger of my heart, Or else my heart concealing it will break, And rather than it shall, I will be free, Even to the uttermost, as I please, in words.

O sir, I do, and will repute you ever The patron of my life and liberty. TRA

O that a mighty man of such descent, Of such possessions, and so high esteem, Should be infused with so foul a spirit!

Of all mad matches never was the like.

One thing more rests, that thyself execute— To make one among these wooers. If thou ask me why, Sufficeth my reasons are both good and weighty.

Our purses shall be proud, our garments poor, For ’tis the mind that makes the body rich; And as the sun breaks through the darkest clouds, So honor peereth in the meanest habit.

Out of their saddles into the dirt, and thereby hangs a tale.

Pardon, old father, my mistaking eyes, That have been so bedazzled with the sun, That every thing I look on seemeth green

Prithee, Kate, let’s stand aside and see the end of this controversy.

Say that she rail, why then I’ll tell her plain She sings as sweetly as a nightingale; Say that she frown, I’ll say she looks as clear As morning roses newly wash’d with dew; Say she be mute, and will not speak a word, Then I’ll commend her volubility, And say she uttereth piercing eloquence;

She eat no meat today, nor none shall eat; Last night she slept not, nor tonight she shall not;

Sir, I shall not be slack; in sign whereof, Please ye we may contrive this afternoon, And quaff carouses to our mistress’ health, And do as adversaries do in law, Strive mightily, but eat and drink as friends.

Sister, content you in my discontent. Sir, to your pleasure humbly I subscribe; My books and instruments shall be my company, On them to look and practice by myself.

Softer and sweeter than the lustful bed On purpose trimm’d up for Semiramis.

Such war of white and red within her cheeks! What stars do spangle heaven with such beauty, As those two eyes become that heavenly face?

Take this of me, Kate of my consolation— Hearing thy mildness prais’d in every town, Thy virtues spoke of, and thy beauty sounded, Yet not so deeply as to thee belongs, Myself am mov’d to woo thee for my wife.

Tedious it were to tell, and harsh to hear— Sufficeth I am come to keep my word, Though in some part enforced to digress, Which at more leisure I will so excuse As you shall well be satisfied with all.

Tell me her father’s name, and ’tis enough; For I will board her, though she chide as loud As thunder when the clouds in autumn crack.

Tell me thy mind, for I have Pisa left And am to Padua come, as he that leaves A shallow plash to plunge him in the deep, And with satiety seeks to quench his thirst.

Then give me leave to have prerogative, And when in music we have spent an hour, Your lecture shall have leisure for as much.

There were none fine but Adam, Rafe, and Gregory; The rest were ragged, old, and beggarly, Yet, as they are, here are they come to meet you.

Therefore they thought it good you hear a play, And frame your mind to mirth and merriment, Which bars a thousand harms and lengthens life.

This bird you aim’d at, though you hit her not; Therefore a health to all that shot and miss’d.

This do, and do it kindly, gentle sirs; It will be pastime passing excellent, If it be husbanded with modesty.

This is a way to kill a wife with kindness, And thus I’ll curb her mad and headstrong humor. He that knows better how to tame a shrew, Now let him speak; ’tis charity to shew.

Though he be blunt, I know him passing wise; Though he be merry, yet withal he’s honest.

Thus in plain terms: your father hath consented That you shall be my wife; your dowry ’greed on; And will you, nill you, I will marry you.

VIN. ’Tis a good hearing when children are toward. LUC. But a harsh hearing when women are froward.

To feast and sport us at thy father’s house.

Too little payment for so great a debt.

Tranio, be so, because Lucentio loves, And let me be a slave, t’ achieve that maid Whose sudden sight hath thrall’d my wounded eye.

Tut, I like it not. Old fashions please me best; I am not so nice To change true rules for odd inventions.

We three are married, but you two are sped. To Lucentio. ’Twas I won the wager, though you hit the white, And being a winner, God give you good night!

We will have rings and things, and fine array; And kiss me, Kate, we will be married a’ Sunday.

What is’t your honor will command, Wherein your lady, and your humble wife, May show her duty and make known her love?

What, is the jay more precious than the lark, Because his feathers are more beautiful? Or is the adder better than the eel, Because his painted skin contents the eye?

When he stands where I am, and sees you there.

Where is that damned villain Tranio, That fac’d and braved me in this matter so?

Where then do you know best We be affied and such assurance ta’en As shall with either part’s agreement stand?

with many things of worthy memory, which now shall die in oblivion, and thou return unexperienc’d to thy grave.

yet for the love I bear my sweet Bianca, if I can by any means light on a fit man to teach her that wherein she delights, I will wish him to her father.

Your husband, being troubled with a shrew, Measures my husband’s sorrow by his woe: And now you know my meaning.