woman

All woman during the day are freezing, because the all calories in their bodies are "poo~" burnt out by knowing everything about everybody around them inside 2 mile radius. And to make it worse, everybody they're living with is clueless zombie.

All women are hot, scientifically. They’re hot, because they all regulate their body temperature in a totally different way to men. Now, this might sounds like science fiction, but evidently, during the day, all women all over the world, are freezing. There’s a reason for this. It’s got to do with information processing.

Everything is misrepresented on screen, women particularly. That's where lot of young men been taught about the concept of Hot babes, and eventually they all end up sat around going...

Most man are not ready for children, in fact man are designed not to be ready for anything, spend whole life going, “Em, What? Now! Really!? OK…”

Married people will work things out, like how they gonna do it as a couple. What happens to most couple is end up dividing things. You know, you’re good at this, she's good at other things.

One of the few things particularly easier for women, well, if you happened to be a woman, is flirting. Because it’s hard for a man, there’s no guide or instruction. But for a woman, at least there's examples, template, you can always find something in films and so on.

Women are misrepresented in a lots of ways. Especially, young man are full of nonsense about women nowadays, because all the medias, particularly the pornography, which is part of the reality now. I didn’t know about pornography when I was growing up, it didn’t exist in my world. Somebody had a picture of a woman's ass, it was a huge deal. People will start arrange affairs, putting up power surge, the infrastructure. Now, you wake up in morning and go, "Take the annal wallpaper away! I just want some Weet-bix please."

I am a man! either that or a woman who's really let herself go. Look It's not easy be a man, for example, I had to get dressed today, and there’s loads other pressures. Man get very hard-time from female media, like these woman's magazines, they always doing these surveys, in between the ads of alligator bag, purse, Chanel, Louis Vuitton... they put these fucking surveys, "What you want for a man?" And all women inevitably come up with similar kind of thing, like "Oh, I don't know, oh just some kind of physical, psychical, intellectual melding really, where you can get that oceanic feeling after 18 years of children bearing and continual exploration of existing sexual relationship is still possible. That’d be OK."

I don't mind religious people, when they hanging around, I talk to them, listen to them banging on, praying very hard, and then the fairy came. "Have you been good? Have a biscuit!" I only get annoyed when they try to make me see the fairy, they say, "Look, you have to let the fairy into your heart." I thought, I wouldn't event let them in my backyard, OK! I'll shoot them on site, if they existed, which they don't. So just please have a biscuit and go away. Will you, Please."

I was in the pub the other day, this young vital person came out, and I found myself cannot stop looking at her. I was thinking "Oh, you are so lovely, you are a really lovely looking human being, never seen a homo sapien like you." Suddenly I realised don't stare, it's rude! So I looked away, but a second later, I couldn't help but looked back. And as I did, her boyfriend walked, who happens to be very very tall, dark, extraordinarily handsome, an amazing looking man, wonderful range of his stride, chiselled features with sea-green eyes in a thousand-yards-stare. What an extraordinary person! I couldn't take my eyes off him... and completely forgotten about her. And then I became aware again, “Oh, Christ, don't stare, it's rude. They'll think you're staring because they’re mix-raced couple or something. Don't... don't..."

I was sitting outside pub the other day, and this woman came out, an attractive woman, she was attractive in a way that other women would probably have said of her, “Well she's attractive in an obvious way." Interestingly though, I found a lot of the women who would say that about other women tend to have hide their own attraction so well, that you do feel like thrown them out of bedroom, or give them some spare change, but I digress.

The gender argument do seems to be quite unfair in woman's favour. Because I think men and women's arguments are made in different places. All male arguments are very early 70s, Soviet-made, uni-directional trundling behemoths, that say the same thing again and again and again: "I told you I would be late on Tuesday, I told you I would be late, I said it, I heard my own voice, I did say it... I told yoouuuu~" Whereas woman's argument seem to be these amazing, slinky, stealth bombers designed by Jaguar, with lovely cream leather interior and infinite torque! That's why they can respond man by saying "Yes, maybe, alright, but why is the fridge door's open?" and man just going "I don't understand, I don't understand the world any more..."

The images of people is in movies nowadays is so categorised.

I think man can get very envious of woman, specially the sensitivity that woman have. You know, if a woman, girlfriend, wife, or female friend of yours says, "I'm just gonna go and see so on and so in the café, I'll be back in a bit." And when they come back and you say, "Well, so how was so and so?" She goes, "Oh. She's not so good, not so good, early sign of diabetes, and she's having an affair, which is you know, complex, and there's a very very good chance she's gonna loose her job as well." And you go, "Wow, that's incredible, you found all that out in 15 minutes, she told you all this?" "Oh, no no, She didn't say anything, but she didn't finish her tea."

You have to be honest about pleasure, otherwise you'll go strange, turn into one of those people you don't like, like one of your friends who'd ring you up and say, "Hi, how’re you?" you go "I'm alright, and you?" and they go “I'm fine, hm~hm~hm~" and you think, "No you're not fucking fine, you're making very inappropriate noise on the phone. You need to sleep with trees today."

This is the age of spending, yeah! Have you seen people in the middle of Sydney driving around in those huge 4 by 4 vehicles, look like little houses on the move. You can't even see the people inside, cause they're just so high up. Men on the mobile phones going "Bla bla bla~~~" about money, while all ladies with roman catholic blond hair going "Hayi~hayi~hayi" as they plow through school children, roaring around, "Oaaaa~~~" up and down the high streets, hunting that ultimate handbags. So that they will have more space, to buy more shit and carry back to their houses.

And it's fairly amazing to think of the ludicrous, the taboos that persist amongst us, informed, intellegent, able people, yeah. Just from biology for all those years, cause it is still a difficult thing to talk about menstruation with women. If you're male, you'll find this out as a young man very quickly. Like you talk to somebody, and you say "Listen, listen, I agree with everything you've carved on the kitchen table, I do. I really really do. But would you think it's possible that you may feel this way, is perhaps, because of your pipiya~~~"

Don't get feminist on me. Look, I'm not feminist, cause I'm a man, I'm not qualified. I cannot be a feminist just like most women. If women were serious about feminism, they can have everything feminist talk about getting. Equal Pay, yeah, you can have that tomorrow, if women will give up bitching about one another for 5 minutes, which just seems to be impossible. Not for four, not for three, not for two, not for one.

Gender-stereotype is this idea, that women are hugely, uncontrollably emotional, and men are not. Everyone knows about PMS, right. Now the myth is that, it's so odd that only women who experience this. And man embraces this whole idea going, "Oh, you're so irrational, you're so crazy, you're women, you just so unpredictable and wild. I have to cope with you, like you're some sort of crazy child, never know what's gonna happen around you. And I'm just so dependable and stable, I'm like a library, I never change. I'm like an old tree... it's just me... Oh... dealing with you... Oh... my goodness... I’m so much in pain..."

Have you ever read Frankenstein? The book by Mary Shelley, a woman. My after thought of the story might sound a bit generalisation, but does felt that all women, past, present, and future, are Mary Shelly, and all men are the Creature.

I didn't meant to make any generalisation about women and men, all I'm saying is that women have to make themselves beautiful for men. Because men are the ones who're going on about female beauty all the time. It's only possible a man who you would heard him saying "Oh, I miss Nancy, she has such dusky insteps. Her knees were like porpoises’ heads and her eyes were like lapis lazuli flash light thrown into little dishes of Utterly Butterly, you could almost hear her breasts while she's walking behind you, she was such an extraordinary woman." You don't get women banging on in this manner about male beauty, you don't hear women say "Oh, I miss Felix so much, he's got such beautiful balls!" We call ourselves liberal democracy and there's still no platform in this society for the appreciation of scrotal beauty.

I got a kind of a very sad letter the other day, actually kind of moving in a way. You know, sometimes people contact me just for advice. Cause I'm a very giving person as you can tell.

I suppose the class system probably quite easy once you get a hang of it. It seems to me it's all about how much time you spend with your parents. Cause the upper higher you go, the less time you are with your folks. You know, cause been at the age of one and half, they come to you and they go "Well done you! Whatever your name is, you're going to boarding school in Argentina." And if you're poor, you just with your family a lot more. You just remember crawling out laundry baskets into these bags of potatoes and you swing off your parents' cigarette while they're having sex, you remember you're there.

I thought there's a particular kind of American obviously, the kind of American in Europe or Australia, often, for some reason, tended to be very generously portioned. You see them shuffling around in museum, blocking up exhibits going, "What is this? Can we eat it? Where are we? Can we pee now?" And yet, when you looking at popular shows from Americans, all people there are very prepossessing, almost ultra fashionable in way, extremely thin really.

I've always had this suspicion that women have no feelings. Because it's actually men who are far more romantic and emotional. Man are the people you will heard saying, "Oh, I found somebody. She's amazing. If I don't get to be with this person, I'm fucked. I can't carry on. No, I really mean it. She's totally transformed my life. Look, I have a job, I have a flat, that all means nothing. I can't stand it, I have to be with her. Because if I don't, I'm going to end up in some bedsit, I'll probably become an alcoholic, and end up wearing itchy trousers. I can't... I don't think I will able to walk straight any more." And that... is exactly how women feel about shoes.

Isn't it ridiculous that the thing possesses the most crucial relationship in your life, is the thing that you cannot talk about. For instance, I’d apologise for even mention it. But it is true, as a men it is still very difficult to have a rational conversation about periods with women. You see I am almost instinctively euphemistic about it, nobody wants get into trouble in small talks.

It is almost tradition that things have to be just right for a woman in every respect, for certain action to take place. If you cared about somebody, properly care about somebody, every single element has to be just right. Whereas for man that doesn't seem to be the case. Desire, lust, just appears, all circumstances are fine for any sensitive occasion, isn't it? But for woman, things have to be absolutely correct.

It's shameful that we still can't have intelligent productive conversation about some of these ordinary life events with women. I mean, it's 2018 and... And we still can't. You know, childbirth, menstruation, all of those things without which we wouldn't be here.

Life is just plainly harder to be a woman. Cause biologically speaking, just in terms of changes and drama, right. If you born a woman, from an infant you turn to a baby, you grow up then you're little girl. You become a girl, then you're a girl-woman, then you're a woman-girl, got hips, breasts, menstruation, few years later, you have sex, you may have child, then you look after this child. Oh, that is very complex biological relationship, mentally, psychologically, all aspects. And then you carry on maturing... A woman looking after whole family, you get older, you reach this point in life there's another big change then everything goes quite. And then you're old.

Look it is very difficult thing to be a man, cause you have to touch yourself to exam yourself free of things like testicular cancer and so on. And unfortunately, as a man you're designed to be aroused by the most naturally occurring phenomena on this planet. Like, you know, a big bag of chips or a bit of melting ice-cream, that can get you up and going. So…actually to touch yourself can be very dangerous, you may get 38 erections and directly passed out on a street.

Men don't know how to talk to woman. They think they're completely different specie. Lots of men have got no fucking clue about restaurants. Because they're frightened, frightened by the dramatical weather in the mood scope that a woman can inhabit.

Men sometimes do get frightened by woman's ability of swinging mood from one extreme to another in a matter of seconds, like going "You always fucking leave the towel on floor, you piece of shit!" to "Oh yeah, that champagne's all right." That does easily throw a man out of his continence.

Most men have a lot of trouble with their emotions. Loads of that just come from genetic hostility in them. Men are allowed to be aggressive sometimes like, I felt really pissed off today, I got mad at somebody. Because I was on the train coming down here and the service wasn't very good. You see, nobody likes to complaint in this country, because they think everybody else would point at him go "Oh, you’re the devil!” and put him in a bag and kill him. But I don't care about all that shit. So I went straight up to that Railway guy, short-shelved shirt, safety vest, moustache, eyes are very close together, piercings, tattoos, all that stuff. I went

Nostalgic times. You know back then when a man would receive a phone call in a pub, on a land line. And it would be for him. Man died in pubs, sometimes on the phone, frequently with a large ham under their arm. This is the time when a man would get chance express a strong opinion on the subject he knew nothing about it as the point of honour. And to emphases his position, he's would take off his hat, so you would see his comb over, which is nothing to be ashamed of.

Now, my idea is that, my theory is that women are always ready, for everything. They are born ready... for other people. Yeah, for dealing with other people. Look, I'm not feminist by the way. Because I'm a man, I'm not allowed to be one. Lots of man out there says “Oh yeah, I'm a feminist..." That's bullshit, it just mean they want to sleep with you. I'm not a feminist but have a lot in common with most women, who are not afraid of annoying men, and saying difficult things, such as "I don't want to go over there. I'm not doing that. Fuck off. I'm wearing jumper all day, and I'm eating burgers, so go fuck yourself.” Now some women may cheering me doing this, but I'm a guy, that's the problem. Ladies, you need work on that, sometimes, you need to take the heat, babe.

Of course women have extraordinary memories, that is what equips them to ask questions that cannot be answered by men, not by mortal men. My partner says to me, "Why! Why did you leave the towel on the bathroom floor? The wet towel" There is no answer. Unless I can come up with something like, "Well, me and guys in the basement, we’ve planed for weeks how to fuck you up. And we thought this seems the only way to go."

So the young man and young women realise eventually that you don't die young. It’s a huge lie. And of course young man knows he’s not dead, cause he's with a young woman now. And they rented a flat, and she’s talking about curtains. And that is the time he really really wants to be dead. Cause the young woman has been talking about curtains for more than half an hour. And looks like she means to go on. She said, "What do you think? Should we get that purple ones with really subtle blend to the pink tonality towards the end; Or should we get that one looks like a tree, but feels it's at night when you're passing by in a car. Which one do you think we should get? What you really feel, I can't make the decision by myself. What you really truly feel?" And what you really truly feel is that "I can not begin to describe how much I DON’T CARE! I didn't know we had windows, until you brought all the shit up, OK. Stop saying wallpapers, furnitures, floors, it's Bourgeoisie. Just eat the chicken from my hat, come on!"

Sometimes I rather jealous about being a woman. Yes, I do. Cause the whole traditional practise of flirting and seduction is just way too easier for them. All the steps were laid down there, certain things to do. You look at someone, then you look away, like you were not looking at them, and then you look back, look down, and then reveal a little bit more of yourself, you just slightly, and then look back again, then walk away, and "hahaha…" The other person would just involuntarily go completely mad, "Aaaa~~~"

Speaking of memory, women have memories. Short, Medium, Long, they've got it all. A woman can remember something you've said 17 years ago and even the way how you said it. And to aid that memory, every woman would have a hot boxes, full of precious things, "Curly wholly wrapped the man so much; A bundle of letters too painful to look at or thrown away, they have to be kept so they can never be looked at; A nine speed dual shaft triple action... No, that's a different time, a different time!" Women remember. This is why we have civilisation. A women looks at a man and says, "You tried that yesterday, didn't work, then either!" Every women is an individual walking time capsule.

The deal though, the life deal does seem to be very hard, harder for women. Because even physically speaking. If you born, as infant, you’re on your way towards a little girl; If you’re girl, you going towards pubescence where you’ll have menstruation; Then after that you’re on your way to become a full-grown women who can get pregnant; all sorts of physical events are ensued that; Then afterwards just when you think it's all over, then there’s the CHANGE! You know, it's like an opera, wiht masks keep falling to the floor going, "Who am I? I don't know. Neither are you. I'm fucking nuts…" And if you’re a guy, you born, you have one finger up your nose, and the other one on your penis; and then you get taller. That's all.

The fact is that young man, especially, all men, don't even see children. For them, they're just other beings that need instant gratification, their competition really, as far as they concern.

The question that everybody asks now and the question that everybody has always asked about each other, and you can still hear all the time, is "What do women want?" Well, as always it has been really mysterious, as it always sounds like such a big deal. I'm here to tell you that woman want is what anybody wants. You know, friendship, companionship, respect, and certain amount of leadership with submission, the kind of cooperation at all times, and pre-emptive empathy, plus some general telepathy, yah? That's not a big deal, is it?

The things about desire for love and be loved sometimes been regarded as trivial stuff in today's busy life. But that is the singular thing you're constantly been drawn towards to and constantly trying to get away from, the trap to escape from. That's possibly the fundamental reason why pornography is such a huge industry. Because for a lot of men, sex is just too important to involve another person.

When you approach middle aged man, you'll become a kind of soft, comfortable guy with fears. By some definition not even a man anymore, you know, in the ways that medias and films defined for us. So what will happen is that you get yourself addicted to violent movies, like Matt Damon, Jason Stathan and so on, cause you've got find a way to outsource your masculinity.

Woman sometimes laugh at other woman who goes out dressed on a Friday or Saturday night, in string. They think that's all very funny. But I reckon there's a very good reason for that. It's because that girl from Glasgow or Aberdeen or whatever, has to get through the winter and the dark, the things that you know nothing about it. Well, say what you may, but winter is not coming here. People don't event have concept of snow, the closest you can come to get is some over-production of cream-cheese people left outside. Australians here don't know about suffering.

Women are much more supportive to one another around children. If a woman gets pregnant, other women pitch in, and they sort of talk about it, in a far more useful way in a sense.

Young people in gap-year go overseas for no real reason, sometimes, stupid reasons as well. "So where're you going?" “Brazil." "You bastard, why?" "'Well, Cause they have snake there. What it does is they pretend to be sleep, and when the monkeys come over, and they fuck them and eat them." and you think "Well, have a great time in rainforest with malaria."